Simulate Me
by Camunki
Summary: Kurt didn't even know why he'd created a Karofsky Sim in the first place. As for what came next...what the heck was a 'WooHoo,' anyway? Smut, Rated M, Kurtofsky, Kurt/Karofsky.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Simulate Me**  
>Pairing<strong>: Kurtofsky**  
>Word Count<strong>: 4,760**  
>Rating<strong>: M, for filthy smut.  
><strong>Warnings<strong>: Gay sex, swearing.  
><strong>Notes<strong>: Written as a guilty pleasure as the result of too much Sims. As always, reviews are much appreciated!  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Kurt didn't even know why he'd created a Karofsky Sim in the first place. As for what came next...what the heck was a 'WooHoo,' anyway?

* * *

><p><em><strong>Simulate Me. <strong>_

Kurt didn't even know why he'd created a Karofsky Sim in the first place.

Heck, he hadn't understood what all the fuss was about this game, until one day in week when he got sick and it got so bad he couldn't even leave his bed to go to school. Three seasons of Desperate Housewives and another four of Grey's Anatomy later, he still hadn't recovered and even Facebook had its limits. He coughed and hacked as he browsed through his laptop looking for something to do, until the familiar green symbol caught his eye.

He'd bought Sims 3 an age ago, when it had first come out, and played for a few days before getting bored of it and never touching it again. Once he'd paired off his favorite RENT characters and created the entire cast of Wicked (there was even a green skin setting, he'd been happy to discover) and cheated so that they were rich, the game had sort of lost interest for him. After all, what was the use in spending so much effort living a virtual life, when he could put that effort into his real life? It didn't make sense to him.

But right now he _couldn't_ live his life; he was stuck in this stupid bed whilst all his friends were off singing songs in Glee and having a great time preparing for Sectionals. It was like Dalton all over again, only with more mucus.

Screw it, he thought, if I can't do anything, at least a Sim can. It seemed ironic that Sim!Kurt was going to live out his life while he was incapacitated, but still, it was better than just sitting here or, god forbid, risking the long trip downstairs to get another DVD box set. So he clicked on the green diamond and winced as the cheesy music started up, watching the load page with distaste.

When the game actually started, he was more amused. He spent a long time replicating himself using the mirror on his side cabinet, and even longer choosing an outfit (how were you supposed to know what was designer, any way?) but finally he was done with the mini version of himself. He looked pretty good, though sure, he might have made it a little skinnier than himself and _accidently_ neglected to add freckles.

Sitting back and admiring his work, he felt a sudden twinge of loneliness – little Sim!Kurt, standing there by himself. Maybe he should create his dad and Carole too. But then, if he could have any life he wanted, he could be rebellious and live with his friends, right? Right! He could make a whole Glee family!

Making every member of Glee club took _hours,_ but Kurt wasn't complaining; he was too enraptured by this point. He barely even noticed the time flying by as he chose Mercedes' hairstyle and Finn's (rather less fabulous) outfit. He briefly hesitated over making a Blaine, but they were still friends, and he _was_ a member of Glee club. And Sim!Kurt would need _someone_ to date. Sims didn't grow apart or slowly begin to argue all the time, right? Well, maybe they did that, Kurt never got far enough in the game to find out.

He ended up splitting them into two families of six and seven before realizing he'd missed out Lauren and going to add another family. Of course, Lauren couldn't be on her own, so he made Mr. Schue, and then realizing how creepy it would be to have Lauren living on her own with Mr. Schue, thought about what other McKinley figures he could put in there. Well, there was certainly no one he _liked _left. With a giggle to himself, he made Jacob Ben Israel, and took extra delight in thinking of all the horrible things he could make him do. And on that thought… okay, so making Azimio Adams may have been a step too far, but it was worth it just to imagine him and Jacob living together.

He hovered over the big green tick that would take him to the next page so he could finally start the Sims' lives. But he wavered.

You couldn't really have Azimio without Karofsky, right? They were on decent terms now so it wasn't _too_ weird, and was perfectly entitled to get a little simulated revenge by making him marry Jacob or something.

And perhaps he spent a little longer on Dave than he had on Jacob or Lauren. He decided to put him in the edited Letterman jacket that he made for Azimio and Sam and, not without a smirk, clicked on the beret in _hair_ before making the hat red. Those things may have been horrendous, but the best memories he had of Dave were whilst he was in it. Then it came to the traits, and he had to put _hot-headed_ on there because it was true. But he also put _athletic _and _friendly,_ though he'd seen only a little evidence of the latter. His cursor hovered above _good kisser_ before he clicked it, his cheeks burning red. Well, it _had _been a kiss to remember, if nothing else.

When he was finally done with Dave, he had what was probably the strangest Sim family ever: Azimio and Karofsky living with Jacob Ben Israel, Mr. Schue and Lauren Zizes. The idea was laughable, really.

When it came to placing the Sims, he discovered he couldn't afford to give them decent houses, and that simply wasn't good enough. A little googling later, he cheated his way into sticking them into three mansions near each other, a perfect McKinley neighborhood.

He started off playing with his family, which consisted of himself, Blaine, Mercedes, Finn, Rachel, Quinn and Sam. After figuring out how to make everyone happy rather than having to feed them every five minutes, he redecorated because, who the hell designed these places and were they blind or just tasteless?

Then, he spent an hour tried to make his and Blaine's relationship work, but every time he started flirting, Blaine would yell at him or make fun at him. Okay, so maybe that was his fault: he bad been a little bitter when he created Blaine and put the traits _childish, inappropriate_ and a few others he couldn't remember. Hey, he'd put _virtuoso _too, it wasn't like he was evil. Oh, yeah, _evil,_ that was the other trait.

He'd all but forgotten about the other families he'd placed until Sim!Azimio turned up at his door. It made sense he would visit – they were neighbors after all. He'd let Azimio in and let him do whatever he pleased as he focused on cheating his career to the highest level. He was going to be a hit movie composer, he'd decided, which means he'd need music skills, so he got a piano and started learning, clicking on it ten times to practice, whilst fast-forwarding through.

When Sim!Kurt was finished and very grumpy, he returned to normal time, cheated everyone happy again, and then squinted at the screen. The house was surprisingly empty – where was Blaine? He clicked up a floor and let out a little squeak of shock.

Blaine and Azimio were in _bed._ And, holy crap, they were having a Woo-hoo or whatever cute nickname this game gave to sex. He could hear them laughing and kissing and… oh, _god,_ that should not send jolts of arousal down to his groin, not at all.

He zoomed out as fast as humanly possible and returned to himself, trying to clear his mind of all mental images. He didn't want to be thinking about Azimio Adams having sex with his ex-boyfriend. He really, really didn't.

Sim!Kurt was at the door when Kurt found him, letting in – oh, great, _Dave_. As if this wasn't awkward enough already. Well, at least this would give him a distraction. He clicked _get to know_ for Karofsky, deciding that he could at least be friends with him in Sim world, even if they'd never be more than acquaintances in the real world.

As he clicked more and more friendly options towards Dave, his mind drifted back to Blaine and Azimio. So there may have been a small tingle of jealousy there. It didn't make sense; this wasn't even _real _but… ugh, he'd spent so long trying to get Blaine to like his Sim, but Blaine was nothing but rude and mean to him. Then Azimio turns up and the next thing he knows, they're having _sex._ And in _Kurt's _bed. Not that they actually have assigned beds, but that was the one he'd chosen for himself!

He forced himself focus on the scene in front of him where Dave was flirting with him. Wait – _what?_ Sim!Kurt was shifting his shoulders forward and back and bending his knees slightly as Sim!Dave sweet-talked him. How had _that _happened?

He clicked on Dave, ready to use the _mean_ option and insult him or something, but his eyes lingered on the _romantic _options. Swallowing a lump in his throat, he clicked on it. _Flirt, flirty joke, hold hands _and _compliment_ were the options. He gingerly pressed _flirt_, feeling his face heat up slightly. God, the Sims looked a little too much like the real people, because it kind of did feel like he was flirting with Dave right then.

He wasn't sure how long he spent standing there, flirting, joking and talking to Sim!Dave. Long enough that it got dark outside, in both the Sim and real world. At one point, his dad delivered some food from Carole, with a worried glance at the computer screen. Kurt drew it closer to himself, hiding the two characters that were currently holding hands. When his Dad left, he returned to watching the two Sims hitting it off not without a slight inclination that he was doing something wrong.

Maybe it was slightly weird, to be virtually flirting with Dave. Okay, yeah, it was definitely weird. But as he slid the cursor to _first kiss_ with trembling hands, he almost couldn't help himself. He finally had the control he always wanted in his real life, and so what if he had a bit of harmless fun? It wasn't like Dave would ever know. It wasn't not like it was _real._

What _was_ real, however, was the pooling warmth below his stomach as the two Sims leaned in for that first kiss. That, and the almost electric jerk Kurt gave as the two lips connected, the way he leant into the computer screen without even realizing it. How his hand ended up in his lap he didn't know but it was there and it was resting on something that was quickly getting larger.

Before he knew it, Sim!Kurt was asking Dave out and suddenly the _best friend_ relationship status turned to _boyfriend_ and there was a striking heat down there that just wouldn't go away. With this new status, the first kiss turned to making out and the hand that was resting on his lap began to move completely against his will and yeah, he was definitely palming his dick through his pajama pants now and that was _so _not right.

But there was something so tender and romantic to the way the two Sims were interacting, and everyone knew romance was Kurt's number one turn-on. He just couldn't resist the sweet way Dave's hand was stroking his face, and the way Kurt was leaning forward to speak in his ear in that weird Sim language that sounded ridiculous but made Kurt really want to know what they were saying. It was addictive, to watch this, to control this, to know that Sim!Dave _wants_ Sim!Kurt and that Kurt – the real Kurt – has made this happen.

The arrow hovered over the _Woohoo_ option. Kurt was sure Sim!Dave wouldn't turn him down, not now that they were _boyfriends, _and there was a word he never thought he'd associate with Dave Karofsky. His hand drove down particularly hard and he let out a small gasp of pleasure.

He closed the laptop with a sharp _snap._

This was definitely inappropriate now. Making Sim!Dave had been a mistake from a start, letting them get into a relationship was a terrible idea and jerking off to a game was just plain _pathetic_.

He put the laptop on the floor and lay back into his bed, ignoring the throbbing in his nether regions. He didn't have the energy to get up and have a cold shower, so he'd just have to let his erection wilt away from the absolute shame of the situation.

He lay back and tried not to think about the noises the little Sims made as they kissed, the small moans and groans, the laughs and exchanged Sim banter. It was stupid anyway; there hadn't been a voice option anywhere near as high as Kurt's real voice, and Dave's hadn't been quite right either. If it were _really_ them, Kurt would be letting out higher, breathy moans and Dave would probably _grunt_ or let out a whimper the way he had that day when he kissed Kurt. And his voice would get really hoarse as he got more turned on, so base, so savage, like he just couldn't help it, like he was so desperate to have Kurt, and Kurt would squeak and moan and…

And this was _really_ not helping his problem.

Kurt let out a frustrated groan and tried to think distinctly unsexy thoughts. Until recently, Karofsky might have fallen under the category of _unsexy_, too, but now he just couldn't stop thinking about him in a way that was so inappropriate, especially since he didn't even _like_ Dave that much.

Kurt forced himself to think about Rachel in lingerie and Santana's boob job, until he finally fell asleep.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Kurt woke up feeling a lot better, except for the sense that he hadn't eaten properly for days and a desperate need for the bathroom. He got up, still a little shaky, but better than yesterday at least. He walked out of his bedroom, past the en suite, and towards the kitchen, ignoring the niggling feeling that he should probably relieve his bladder. Downstairs, he glanced around for his dad or Carole but couldn't see them, so decided to make breakfast himself. They must have been out or something, or maybe they already went to work, Kurt didn't know what time it was.<p>

He grabbed some waffles from the freezer – hey, he'd barely eaten when he was ill, he was allowed to indulge a little – and stuck them on the pan. A sharp twang reminded him that he _really_ needed to pee, but he set it aside, concentrating on his cooking.

It was only as he set the waffles down on the table that Kurt realized he was about to wet himself, and sprinted to the bathroom in a fit of panic. After he relieved his bladder, he washed his hands and stared into the mirror. What the heck had come over him? He splashed water on his face and went to dry it when he noticed how _clear_ his skin looked. Those acne treatments were really working, at last! But then…it seemed more than that. He shook it off and went back to eat his waffles.

He sat down next to Azimio at the table, starting to exchange pleasantries before it struck him that he was _sitting next to Azimio_. "What are you doing in my _house?" _He screeched, standing up and nearly knocking over his chair. Whoa, his voice sounded weird; lower than usual. It must be his stupid cough, obviously he hadn't quite recovered yet.

Azimio just stared up at him like he was insane. "I live here." He said, simply, "Blaine asked me to move in with him."

Kurt went to say, "Blaine doesn't live here!" until he realized that wasn't true, Blaine _did_ live there. He didn't know _why_ Blaine lived there, or when he'd started living there, but he was certain that he did. How strange.

Kurt dug into his waffles, not sure what to say. Azimio, remarkably more agreeable than usual, made causal conversation and Kurt found himself replying with more enthusiasm than he would ever expect. When Blaine came in and planted a good morning kiss right on Azimio's lips, Kurt's immediate shock was quenched by the overbearing thought that there was nothing odd about it at all because Azimio and Blaine were dating, right?

When he was done eating, he put the plate on the side and was ready to walk off when his hands started picking up his plate and cleaning it. He jumped back, confused by the sudden lack of control over his body. He knew that he could just leave it until later but, damn, he _really _wanted to clean that plate. It felt like the whole revolved around him washing that plate and that if he didn't, the house would come crashing down around them. And suddenly Kurt couldn't think of anything he desired more, than to grab that plate and wash it with warm, soapy water. A second later, he looked down to find the plate in his hands and under the tap until he'd scrubbed it clean and dried it, before placing it back in the cupboard.

He stepped back, staring around him. What the _hell_ had that been? Why did it matter to him to clean that plate? Why couldn't he stop himself? What was going on?

And then it was happening again, his feet this time, walking into the corridor as if he had some sudden and urgent business to do there. But as soon as he got to where he was going, a random spot in the middle of the front hall, he couldn't remember why he was there. The urge to move had ended abruptly. Suddenly unsure what to do, he stood there for a few minutes, until, to his surprise, Dave Karofsky walked through the front door, looking utterly baffled.

"Dave? What are you doing here?" Kurt asked, as Dave let himself in and drew towards him.

"I… I don't know." Dave shook his head, clearly conflicted, "I came to see you. I don't know why."

"Was it like a sudden weird impulse you couldn't shake?" Kurt asked, curiously. He wondered if what was happening to him was also happening to Dave, these weird ideas and thoughts that engulfed him until he fulfilled them.

"Yeah, exactly! I was trying to go to school but I just_ couldn't._ And then I wanted to go on my computer but I ended up making breakfast instead." He paused, took at breath, and stared at Kurt hard. "And now I'm here." He took another step towards Kurt, until they were _really_ close and Kurt had the abrupt urge to lean in and… and…

"I want to kiss you." Kurt said, his voice a stunned squeak. "Why do I want to kiss you?" He forced himself to take a step back, and with a glance at Dave's face, could immediately tell he was restraining himself too.

"I don't know. I've been thinking about you the whole way here." He admitted, his face flushing red. "I… god, I really want to kiss you too."

"We have to resist!" Kurt piped, trying his very hardest not to move towards Dave, to lean into those lips, to kiss him and press against him. Even as he said it, his body shifted slightly in Dave's direction. "We… we can't let them…" His lips parted in a way he knew would drive Dave crazy, "Control…" And his face tilted until he could taste Dave's breath, "Us."

Kurt couldn't tell you who closed the gap, but it was certainly closed. And opened and closed, and opened and closed until Kurt's hands were buried in Dave's hair and there was a definite hardness pressing against his knee.

"I want you so bad." Dave ground out; his fingers grazing Kurt's face in a way that made shivers run down his back. Kurt immediately leaned into the touch, the soft brush of those fingers. Then, he moved forward so his lips came in contact with Dave's ear, nipping gently.

"I want you too." He whispered, his voice hoarse. What the hell was he _saying?_ "I want you inside me, _god,_ I want to feel your cock, I want you to fuck me so hard I can't walk for fucking _days."_ He had no idea where these words were coming from or even if they weren't entirely true anymore. His body pressed against Dave's and a roll of the hips is all it took before the two of them were running god knows where.

_Oh,_ the bedroom. Kurt felt a spark of fear, but it faded in an instant as he was filled with throbbing desire. Before he could even think it through, his hand was burying in Dave's shirt and dragging him towards the bed. In the hurry, they toppled onto the bed together, Dave just managing not to crush him. Kurt just connected their lips again and lifted his hips to thrust against Dave's thigh. _God,_ that felt good, he thought as his body went on thrusting. Dave's own hips came down to meet his and when their clothed dicks bumped together, they let out identical moans of pleasure.

"We… fuck, we shouldn't be doing this." Kurt groaned, as he kissed his way down Dave's collarbone. His fingers laced in the buttons of Dave's shirt and slowly pulled it off.

"We should stop." Dave agreed, but his hands were undoing Kurt's shirt too, his legs spread around Kurt's as he lay above him.

"I shouldn't want this." Thick fingers brushed his chest, squeezing his nipples, and he let out a low moan, his hips bucking. He reached out to grab at Dave's thick chest hair but was surprised to find soft, hairless tan skin instead. Ignoring the twinge of disappointment, he pinched Dave's nipple in return and felt smug when Dave bit down on his lip, his eyes squeezing shut in repressed pleasure. "But, oh my _god,_ I want this." He choked out, his breath coming in gasps.

Kurt's hand snuck down past Dave's stomach and curved around the button he found there: _that_ made Dave's eyes fly open again. There was something in his eyes – a pain Kurt couldn't understand – and his mouth opened, but no words came out. Kurt undid the button and slid his hands down Dave's pants. His fingers gripped Dave's erection and Dave gave a shudder as he began to stroke and squeeze gently, his eyes fixed on Dave's expression the whole time.

It took about ten seconds before Dave, with what sounded like a roar, pinned Kurt down and stripped him of his pajama bottoms in a swoop. The sudden rush of cold hair was a shock to Kurt, but he wasn't complaining as Dave stood, drew some objects from out of nowhere and pulled his clothes off. Kurt barely even got a chance to see him naked before he was being pushed onto his back and cool, slickened fingers were teasing at his entrance. Another hand was cupping his cock as two fingers worked his hole, pushing and stretching him. A last finger entered and Kurt winced at the jolt of pain but was quickly distracted by the hand around him.

Dave paused for a moment to roll the condom on himself and Kurt's breath caught as he positioned himself at Kurt's entrance. His fingers, that had been tangled in the bed covers, reached to pull Dave into a deep, wet kiss, and he kept on kissing him as Dave breached him, filling him up slowly. His teeth nipped at Dave's lip as Dave moved a little too suddenly, and Dave drew back with whispered, groaned apologies and soothing words of encouragement between gasping moans about how _good_ Kurt felt.

_Yes,_ Kurt felt good. Dave began to move inside him and Kurt had to stop his hips from thrusting forward in case he hurt himself. Dave kept him pinned with one hand and kept stroking Kurt's dick with the other, gradually building up until his shallow thrusts began to get more and more forceful. Kurt could do nothing but lie there in a mess of moans as Dave pounded into him, his arms reaching out to grab him but finding nothing but air. With a grunt, Dave used the hand he had fixed on Kurt to draw his arms down and there they settled in his hair, tugging and pulling at the curls he found with whispered moans and curses.

Kurt knew he wasn't going to last long, not with Dave's grip that tight, his thumb rubbing against the slit of his cock, and his sharp, powerful thrusts brushing his prostate with every plunge. White spots danced in front of him and he let out a low moan, which was quickly silenced by Dave's lips in an open mouthed kiss.

And that was it, that was all it took to make Kurt's shoulders shake and for him to writhe underneath Dave as he came, watching as Dave's face contorted with pleasure, dragging him into orgasm with him. Kurt twitched and let out a choked scream as he threw his head back, spasms of pleasure coursing through him.

Kurt was jolted awake by the sheer force of his orgasm, his mouth still open in a silent moan.

The sun streamed in through his blinds, and he was drenched in sweat, though that could have been due to the fever, he told himself. The sticky stain in his pajama pants… yeah, he had no excuse for that. He felt his dick twitch gently in relief, as if thanking Kurt for giving it a good time.

He lay back and tried to catch his breath, his mind still reeling from the dream. It had seemed so lifelike, so freaking _real, _even down to the prolonged sense that something was not quite right. Even with that, he'd have never known it was a dream. Dave's touch lingered on his body as if he'd really been touching him. Kurt couldn't believe he'd imagined the way Dave had pinched his nipples, his big, calloused hands around his cock, and _god, _the feel of him inside of Kurt. His groin twitched again in interest, and Kurt's face burned with embarrassment.

Unable to resist, he pulled out his laptop and typed in his password. With a jolt of panic, he realized that the program had closed itself when he'd shut the lid; he'd lost his game! And, damn, he hadn't saved since before Azimio and Blaine started Woohooing.

Impatiently, he waited until the program reloaded and his family was back up on the screen. Sim!Kurt was in the middle of arguing with Sim!Blaine. Before, Kurt had just made him try and be friendly. This time, he clicked on the _mean _option of _insult,_ and watched as Blaine stormed off. At that exact moment, Azimio walked up to the house, and Kurt let him in, exchanging greetings. This time, Karofsky trailed in after him, and though Azimio had already gone wandering around the house (probably to find Blaine and Woohoo or whatever) Kurt stopped Sim!Dave with a friendly smile.

He would swear he didn't blink for about five minutes as he pressed _flirt_ and _flirtatious joke_ over and over, watching as Sim!Dave and SimKurt laughed and grinned lewdly at each other. It took a little more time until they were _best friends_ again, and Kurt pulled himself out of bed, leaving them to flirt a little more as he stretched and checked the time. After brushing his teeth and washing his face, he sat back onto bed, but not without picking up his phone first.

His eyes flicked between the two screens as he scrolled down to _Dave Karofsky,_ the number he'd acquired some time during the Bully Whip period. Sim!Dave was grinning at Sim!Kurt, his eyes squinty and his body displaying all the signs of a flirty teenager. Both Sims were leant forward, and they were surrounded by green plus-signs indicating that their friendship was increasing. Kurt swallowed, his throat suddenly dry, and the cursor lingered over the smiling man wearing a letterman jacket and a red beret.

On his laptop, he clicked _confess attraction _and on the phone, he pressed _call. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Simulate Me**  
>Pairing<strong>: Kurtofsky**  
>Rating<strong>: M, for masturbation.  
><strong>Warnings<strong>: Mentions of sex, jerking off, swearing.  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Kurt didn't even know why he'd created a Karofsky Sim in the first place. As for what came next...what the heck was a 'WooHoo,' anyway?  
><strong>Notes<strong>: So, I've wanted to finish this for a while, and I never really got around to it. I can't say the second chapter lives up to the first, but at least it's complete!

* * *

><p><strong>Simulate Me<strong>

Dave was just about ready to kill Kurt.

He had him locked in the room, all the doors deleted. Then he'd filled the room with the cheapest wooden furniture he could buy (even though, thanks to _motherlode,_ Kurt and his little Glee friends were rich as fuck) then sat and waited for the room to catch fire. He just couldn't watch it anymore, and he knew that this was probably a little overkill, but he'd worked hard on this family and he couldn't just delete the whole family because it was too painful to see Sim!Kurt.

But then, just as the first wooden desk burst into flames, he felt his stomach lurch horribly, And before he knew it, he was frantically pausing the game and dragging Kurt out of there as quickly as he could.

It was almost sad, really.

In a fit of self-loathing, he'd created a Sim!Blaine to go with Sim!Kurt and they'd hit it off immediately, chatting about music and all that shit. Dave had played out their little romance, making them flirt and joke, even as his insides burned. And then they had their _first kiss_ and before he knew it, he'd told Blaine to go swimming and deleted all the pool's ladders.

Sim!Kurt didn't even notice he'd gone. Dave felt a little smug about that.

But then Kurt was all alone, and Dave thought it was best to just get rid of him, before he got too attached. Well, clearly _that _didn't work out, so he moved Sim!Dave in with him to, you know, keep him company and all. It was only fair.

Okay, so that was a little awkward. He moved Mercedes in too, because she was friends with Kurt. And then Azimio, because he didn't want to be totally surrounded by divas.

Dave wondered if the game was racist or something, since Sim!Azimio and Sim!Mercedes were making out within the day.

He marveled at how the game worked; even though he hadn't told them to, everyone was being nice to each other (Azimio and Mercedes being a whole other brand of nice.) But they'd stopped talking to Dave and Kurt as much, and Kurt was getting grumpy faster, because his social bar was dropping.

So Dave started talking to Kurt. He started with the topic of music because that was on his Specials option (so maybe he'd put _virtuoso_ in his own traits, so that he'd have something to talk with Kurt about, even though he was pretty sure having over 8,000 songs on your iPod wasn't a true indicator of musical talent.) He moved onto chat and gossip because he could imagine Kurt being the gossipy type. When their status finally reached _Best Friend,_ he ignored the huge massive black hole in his stomach and clicked in _first kiss._

Dave had never been a romantic guy, but there was something about that kiss that brought a tear to his eye. Granted, it was probably slightly due to the haunting memory of his and Kurt's _actual _first kiss.

The Sims' relationship moved pretty quickly from there. Dave couldn't stop himself clicking _kiss_ and _make out_. Hell, he made Kurt jump into his arms so many times it was actually sad. He could swear he hadn't blinked for an hour. His eyes actually stung from staring so hard at the screen, but he just couldn't look away. This was everything he'd ever wanted from Kurt, everything he'd been afraid to admit. And Sim!Dave could have it. Sim!Dave never hurt Sim!Kurt, he'd never kissed him against his will or threatened him. Sim!Kurt _liked_ Sim!Dave, he was flirting with him and kissing him and whispering sweet nothings in his ear. Kurt was laughing and smiling the way Dave never saw in real life.

Kurt did this, Kurt did that. _That_ was the thrill of it, Dave supposed. Because Kurt, the _real_ Kurt, didn't want anything to do with him, would never flirt with him or make jokes with him. Dave had screwed up any chance they'd ever had beyond redemption. Even after Kurt ditched the dapper douchebag (or was it the other way round?) he still didn't want anything to do with Dave save for a civil word in the hallway every so often. They were acquaintances at best, with the occasional friendly clash, but mostly they kept out of each other's ways.

Who was he kidding? Kurt didn't care about him, he never would. This was utterly pathetic, and a little sick, when he thought about it. Not that he would _ever_ force Kurt into anything, even a kiss (he'd learnt his lesson the first time, thank you very much.) But he had to admit, there was a dark, stimulating aspect to being able to control everything. His entire life seemed to be spiraling out of control recently but at least in this world, he was God. Not to mention that this was a world without prejudice, where he didn't have to worry what people said about him or his reputation. He could just _be_, going about his mundane life without a care in the simulated world.

Plus, he got Kurt.

It was too early for this. He'd been playing this game obsessively recently, ever since…well, his social life hadn't exactly been booming lately, what with only one of his friends even talking to him. So this was his life now, playing Sims at 7am before school. He actually woke up early for this shit.

Dave shifted uncomfortably as sim!Kurt and sim!Dave started walking toward the bedroom. Not their bedroom, of course, because the sims were stupid and never went to the right ones. Soon enough, they were rolling around and laughing and kissing and Dave let out a groan of his own as he pulled his earphones out of his ears and pushed his laptop away from him.

He needed a cold shower. He stood and walked to his bathroom, all too aware of his cock, heavy and mocking him with its arousal. He stripped down and turned on the water, shivering as he stepped under the cold stream.

After standing shivering for a few minutes, it became obvious that his cock wasn't the slightest bit deterred by the cold. Fucking teenage hormones. This kind of virility would be great if he actually had someone to share it with.

With a sigh of defeat, he turned the water up so it didn't feel like ice, and wrapped a hand around himself. If he was going to drown in self pity, it might as well be after a really good orgasm.

Just like every time he jerked off, he tried specifically not to think about Kurt. Some other skinny, green eyed guy was the centre of his fantasy as he imagined a pair of soft lips closing around him. Dave's fingers reached out to grip brown hair, throwing back his head and moaning quietly.

The brown haired guy moaned around him, just as he liked it. Tight mouthed and loud even with a cock in his mouth. He imagined the guy's hand squeezing his ass as he sucked him off, pulling back every so often to just roll his tongue around the head and gripping the base to just jerk it when he felt like it. Never predictable, even in Dave's fantasies.

It didn't take long. He wasn't exactly holding out for anything, so he just let go as soon as possible. "Oh, _fuck."_ was all he could he could say as his orgasm tore through him. His whole body shuddered and he released onto his own hand and stomach, the water gushing around him washing it off before he could even finish. With it came a small sob, his shoulders hunched and he let the tears fall, completely unnoticeable in the hot stream.

Oh, god, he was being pathetic again. Stepping out of the shower and wiping down his face and body, he sent a glare at his mirror before slipping into a clean pair of boxers. Then, he sat back down at his desk, where his game was still playing. Sim!Kurt and Sim!Dave had finished woohooing now and were now talking in a hallway, smiling and laughing.

Dave wished he knew what they were saying. Because then, perhaps, he wouldn't have to imagine it. When Sim!Dave walked in after a day of work, he wouldn't have to imagine Kurt asking him about his day. He wouldn't have to imagine Kurt kissing him and hugging him.

It wasn't fair.

Sim!Dave wasn't even _real_, and he got a happy ending. In real life everyone is unhappy, because real life sucks.

Dave leant back on his chair and turned off his computer with a sigh. There was no use living in denial. Que sera, sera and all that shit. And besides, he was going to be late for school if he didn't hurry up.

He was pulling on his jeans when his cell rang.

* * *

><p>It was Kurt's first time at Dave's house, and to say he was nervous was so huge an understatement it was laughable. It wasn't like he had any reason to be – they'd already been out on three "dates" and whilst he'd never been here before, he had a pretty good idea of what it would be like. Dave's dad was working late and his mom wasn't around anymore, so it would just be them. And Kurt wasn't sure what he was supposed to infer from this, but it was a pretty special occasion.<p>

Dave let him in and asked Kurt if he wanted a drink. Coffee. Kurt was surprised to hear that Dave drank the stuff too, but not surprised he took it with milk and a fair dose of sugar.

Kurt fiddled with his phone, looking annoyed. "No signal." he muttered, waving the device in the air.

"Yeah, this house is kind of shit for that. You can use the house phone if you want to make a call."

"Oh, no, I just wanted to check my facebook." Kurt admitted, smiling, "I promised I would update Mercedes on every tiny bit of this da-" he cleared his throat. The word _date _wasn't one they'd actually said out loud yet. "Day."

Dave let out a laugh. "Well, I've got a computer in my room if you want to use it."

"Your room?" Kurt's voice was a little squeaky, he wouldn't deny it. But thinking about going into Dave's _room, _when they hadn't even kissed yet. Well, not since the first time, so long ago.

"Yeah, unless you don't want-" Dave finally seemed to catch on, and his cheeks went pink.

Kurt cut him off before he could say anything else. "It's fine. Where is your room?"

"Top floor." He waved over to the stairs. "Up the stairs, then up again and it's the attic room."

"Right, I'll just go message her quickly, okay?"

"Um, yeah. Do whatever you want, I'll go make the drinks." Kurt nodded in agreement and headed upstairs. This was so weird.

Dave's room wasn't at all like Kurt expected. It was blue and there were toy planes hanging from the ceiling. The occasional sports poster hung on his walls, and Kurt caught sight of a pair of ice skates in the corner. He sat down at the PC and tried not to judge Dave for not having it password protected. Hell, he'd even left his facebook open. If Kurt hadn't been such a kind soul, this would be the perfect opportunity to frappe Dave. Then again, as soon as he saw the kind of thing people were still posting on his wall, he didn't have the heart. The only normal messages were from Azimio. Poor Dave. Kurt logged off before he could feel any more guilty.

He quickly replied to the message from Mercedes, something along the lines of. "Date went well – now at Dave's house, going to have dinner," signed off with kisses. Then, he leant back and waited for Dave to come up. A few seconds later, something caught his eye. On his desktop was the symbol for The Sims. Dave played Sims? That just didn't add up with the picture he had of Dave. He couldn't imagine Dave making families and stuff on here, taking the time to plan everyone out.

Kurt knew that it was probably nosy and pushed the boundaries of their blossoming relationship to go onto his Sims and check it out but…damn, after all he'd been through with the game, he really, _really_ wanted to see what Dave did on his.

So he clicked that little green triangle, marveled at how much faster Dave's computer was at loading, and hoped that Dave was an exceptionally slow coffee maker.

When it came to selecting the family, he just clicked on _Karofsky,_ without even thinking to examine the characters. He tapped his feet nervously as the family loaded, hearing the ping of a kettle from downstairs. He should have closed it. He should have just closed it and left it before Dave came back up but he was so close, he couldn't give up now, right?

The loading screen eventually went away and moved to the house just as Dave walked through the door. "Coffee's downstairs." Kurt immediately jumped back, spluttering out an apology, while Dave just stared and said, "What are you–" before cutting off mid-sentence and turning an alarming shade of red.

"I'm sorry!" Kurt squeaked, even though he hadn't even _seen_ anything. "I was just curious, I wanted to know…I mean…"

"I'm not some sort of creep!" Dave burst out, waving his hands defensively. Kurt wasn't sure which one of them was supposed to be apologizing but they both seemed to be doing enough of it. "I just…I know what you must be thinking, but it isn't like that, I swear!"

And that was it. Kurt's eyes dropped to fix on the screen, where the character Dave was highlighted. He couldn't help but notice that Dave had made himself a lot less handsome than Kurt did on his game, and a lot chubbier too. He thought back to how he erased his own freckles and marvels at the difference between them.

The game looked totally innocent until Kurt saw the relationship bar.

There was a little face there which was undoubtedly Kurt's, and the bar was at its fullest. Above it, it said _husband. _

"Oh my god." Kurt whispered, heat rushing to his face. Dave had _married_ them on his game. He looked back up at Dave, whose expression seemed to indicate that he would happily die a fast, painless death to get out of this situation.

What the heck was Kurt supposed to say to _that?_ 'Oh, it's okay, Dave, we're married on my game too.'

"Uh. Maybe you should go." Dave choked out; sounding a little like he was about to cry. But Kurt was resilient. He stared Dave right in the eye and shook his head.

"Let's play." He blurted out, without even thinking it through. Dave gave him a very obvious 'you have to be kidding me' look, but pulled up a beanbag and sat down next to Kurt anyway, careful that they weren't touching.

Kurt didn't look at him, just kept his eyes on the screen. Of course, Dave was uncomfortable and probably more than a little confused, but Kurt genuinely just wanted to see how this would play out.

"Where am I?" He asked, and felt Dave shift awkwardly beside him.

"Probably at the piano." He replied. Kurt gave a small smile at that.

He located himself on the game, by the piano, Dave was right. Clicking on himself on the sidebar, he saw that his relationship with Dave was the same: _husband._ It was something he'd seen on his game a hundred times, but now there was a whole new thrill to it.

"Kurt, seriously, you don't have to-"

Kurt clicked on himself and chose _romantic,_ ignoring the small gasp from Dave as he stopped talking. He paused for a second before going for a simple kiss. Both boys sat absolutely motionless as Sim!Dave leant down and captured Sim!Kurt's lips. The kiss seemed to last forever, even though it couldn't have been more than a second or two. Almost simultaneously, they turned to look at each other, and Kurt couldn't help but smile at how red Dave's face had gone. He looked beyond confused now, and Kurt didn't blame him for that, but there was also a mournful edge to his expression, and it make Kurt wonder how much he'd been torturing himself with this game.

So Kurt copied the Sim, and kissed Dave gently on the lips.

For a moment, there was resistance, Dave's eyes widening before his body relaxed into the kiss. It only lasted a few seconds, but the rush that Kurt got was phenomenal. It felt like he'd been waiting for this for too long.

Dave was staring at him, genuinely confounded. His eyebrows were furrowed, and when Kurt glanced at his lips, his tongue darted out to lick them.

Kurt leant back, smiling. He glanced back at the screen, where the two sims were done with their kiss. Then he pressed on the _make-out _option and watched Dave's eyes widen.

"Kurt, you don't have to-" Dave said, before Kurt cut him off with an open mouth kiss. Dave didn't protest in the slightest, instead reaching for Kurt's cheek and stroking it gently with his thumb. They kissed slowly, Kurt leaning down from the computer chair until his back started to ache. Then, much to Dave's surprise, Kurt sank down onto his lap, wrapping his arms around his neck.

"I erased my freckles."

"You what?"

"On my Sims game. I erased my freckles."

"I like your freckles."

Kurt didn't know what to say to that. So instead he just leaned in to kiss Dave again, harder this time.

"Let's leave the woohooing to another day, okay? I'm going to head downstairs for that coffee now. " Kurt laughed, pulling Dave up and keeping hold of his hand.

"Mmn, if you insist." Dave murmured, hesitantly placing a kiss on Kurt's forehead. He glanced at his computer screen. Sim!Dave and Sim!Kurt were holding hands too. As Kurt walked to the door, Dave slipped out of his hold, waving Kurt to continue. Meanwhile, he sat back down on the computer chair and stared at the screen, hovering a mouse over the quit button.

"Are you sure you want to quit this game?" the computer message asked him. Dave went to click "yes", his eyes catching one last time on Kurt's Sim.

_Husband, _it said above his relationship status. Dave smiled, clicking on the 'yes' button. Perhaps one day.

The program closed, and Dave's desktop background greeted him.

Time to live real life a little.


End file.
